“Why can’t I just magically fix this” “Why isn’t there a magic cure” “Why won’t all just go away, like magic”
Contact your local government representative via the ol’ Molotov Express to demand more money for wizards
oH, yOu'RE sO UnDErFunDed...
You got me there American Train System… you got me there
something i am utterly obsessed with is the physical copy of dracula that i recently purchased that has , as part of its foreword , some of the original idea notes that bram stoker had about what dracula’s vampiric powers/traits would be.
one of these is that dracula’s likeness cannot be captured in a painting , he always looks like someone else.
which only leads me to imagine a scenario in which the count lines many of his castle hallways with paintings of himself throughout the centuries but none of them look the same and none of them look like him but jonathan can’t help but notice they all somehow look eerily similar.
he brushes it off , assuming they are simply counts of generations past.
My favorite pirate joke is “why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at c” not because it’s THAT funny but because it’s a relatively simple joke that nobody ive told it to has ever correctly guessed the punchline for because they all think it’s gonna be a joke about arrrr
Another classic is
“Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!”
For more hilarious pirate jokes like these go to google and type pirate jokes into the search bar and click search
Sorry for the double reblog I just wanted to let everyone know that I told the first joke to my dad and he hung up on me.
“I’m fine, I’m not getting corrupted by this power! I can control it!” -guy who is 100% getting corrupted by this power
i made this hdb for my page. look, it’s a gif. feel free to use it! he’s your problem now
